Morning Motivation: A new relationship with ... everything

When I began thinking about this experience, this journey, I knew I would have to change my relationship with myself - how I treated myself, my body, my emotion, my energy, my fears. I thought that would be the most difficult part of the entire process.

I forgot that I can’t do this alone, so I would also have to release all my resistance around asking for support without anything in return. To ask for help just because I need it and trusting that the person in front of me will say yes and follow through.

I forget that I can’t do this without a lot of money (I mean, a lot), so i would have to surrender to my fear of financial security and safety in order to ask strangers to support my vision. I have to be okay with asking for something with no expectation of return, of not also offering to do something to deserve that money other than follow my dream. To realize - to accept - that I am worthy of every dollar of support, whether it is a $5 donation or a $50,000 grant - I am deserving of it all. And I don’t have to prove anything or give anything away. I am deserving of it right now.

I didn’t realize how much I would have to dip into the audaciousness (on the verge of insanity) that required me to ask for what I want, for what I need. Like asking car dealerships to give me a car or corporations to donate gear or experts to share their expertise or videographers to donate their time and experience.

I have to learn to see myself as worthy, as deserving, as capable of pulling this off. I have to trust that my determination is so rooted in purpose that I can’t fail - that everything is happening FOR me, not TO me.

I am trying not to feel crushed by all that needs to happen; trying not to become paralyzed by all the changes that need to be made and fears that must be faced.

And to be honest, I feel more like me than I ever have in my life. This is who I have always been and who I am meant to be. I just let life bury me in doubt, shame, and hate.

So I get to create a new relationship with everything and that is exciting.