And just like that...here we go!!!

It’s been more than a year since I last officially trained for my Everest Basecamp trip. Clearly, I didn’t go this year. Not because there was a global pandemic, but because I gave up. I stopped training when I determined it wasn’t getting easier and I wasn’t seeing results so why bother.

I am embarrassed to say it. That a dream I’ve held for more than 20 years can be broken with just a belief that it is too hard.

I’ve been filled with a wild range of emotions all day.

Fear that they won’t allow me to join them because of my current weight and physical condition.
Fear that I won’t be able to lose the weight and train enough to be ready for the trek.
Fear that I will get to Nepal and not be able to make it to Basecamp or worse, hold back my team.

Terrified I won’t have the money to make the deposit or pay for the flights or anything else I need to make this happen.
Disappointed that I have waited so long.
Disappointed that I can’t trust myself to not quit again.
Frustrated that I am still struggling to stay focused and do the work. I want this so why do I keep quitting?
Freaked out because I have to make sure my business can handle being off the grid for a month.
Freaked out because to make this real, I have to ask for help.

And that, I feel, is going to be the hardest part for me. I have to ask for help.

I can’t do this alone. I’ll be sharing my journey here. All of it. Even the bad stuff.

Because if I can get over my fear and learn to trust myself again, anyone can.

So, let’s climb a mountain, shall we?